So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
