your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
