erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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