Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
