Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
