you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
