Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
