I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
