Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
