Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
