I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
