Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
