do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
