Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Pants are for mortals
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
