I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
