Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
