well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
