im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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