your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
