Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
