No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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