Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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