I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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