I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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