So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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