If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
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I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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