All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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