our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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