I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
