Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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