So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
