glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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