I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize