We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
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I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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