The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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