I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
