Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
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The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
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So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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