Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
