I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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