my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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