in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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