Your dad touched me again.
thus making me awesome and them whores
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
