like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
