You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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