Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
