So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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