But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
