But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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