I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
