i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
