better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Your penis caused this!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
