She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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