Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
