is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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