Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
