he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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