u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
