What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
