that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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