I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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